A Letter to Parents onWhat to Expect in a Residential-Level-of-Care Program

Dear Parent(s),  

I hope you're well! I will be connecting with your young adult's therapist soon, and I know that you will also be chatting with them as well. The first few days into the first week tend to be the hardest with adjustments. I hope you are able to get away this weekend and enjoy some self-care knowing your young adult is finally beginning their treatment journey. 

First and foremost, "expectations are premeditated resentments." To help you not be frustrated, irritated, dismayed, etc. (insert more emotions related to feeling disappointed and angry), I wanted to share some readings and general information about what to expect so that you don't encounter the above emotions. Often, I find the families that are most upset, are the families with the least amount of information going into treatment and had their own preconceived expectations for communication, therapy, family involvement, etc. Any slight point of friction, reach out to me and the program directly to help us educate you so you don't find yourself in the above predicament.

I wanted to share with you two articles that may help you during this settling in stage. This is a pretty standard resource I present to all my families.  Full disclosure, I wrote both articles! 

• What to expect when enrolling your young adult in treatment

• All the feels when dropping your young adult off in treatment

Read both of these with a grain of salt, as there are some things that do not apply to you or your young adult.  But for the things that do apply, consider internalizing and implementing the information.  The two largest anxiety-inducing things upon enrollment (from my perspective) tend to be communication and success.  Below you’ll find my thoughts on both topics.

Communication

Know that as soon as your young adult arrives, you will get updates from someone at the program up until you know that they are safely enrolled in the program.  After that, your point of contact for the program will most-likely be your young adult's therapist only, and you may not hear from them until next week. There is no need to reach out to the Admissions Director, or any other program person you spoke with previously, as the therapist will be giving updates on your young adult's progress.  This can sometimes be unnerving to parents who want communication daily, yet change takes time. So getting updates daily would be like watching a pot of water boil. It’s better to space out the communication so you can hear and see tangible changes and growth. Now, if an emergency pops up, you will hear from the program immediately, and again, you can reach out to me anytime.  

Success

I most-likely talked with you about this even as early as the initial inquiry call. Success in treatment is not isolated to the young adult making changes. The only way to truly have a “successful outcome” out of treatment is if every single family member puts in work to learn to skills, to reflect on their own patterns, and then to implement change. You may be suggested to participate in the following: family therapy, your own individual therapist, marriage counselor, parent coach, family support groups, readings, etc. If you aren’t fully engaged or refuse these recommendations especially if I or your young adult’s therapist is strongly encouraging it, I can tell you that this will be the indication that this may not be viewed as a successful treatment experience. It’s one thing to talk about changing, being open to change, and then demonstrating change in action.  For the sake of your young adult, I do hope you’re ready to dive in to do your own therapeutic work! 

Between these articles and support from me, updates from your young adult's therapist, participating in every recommendation for parents (family therapy, parent support group, readings, etc.), you will be able to manage all of this journey!  

Let me know if there's anything I can do during the transition!

Be well, 

Joanna

*This letter is not meant to be canned or impersonal. If you feel that reading it comes across that way, please schedule a call with me. I can articulate this same messaging specific to your young adult and you so that it may be better received.