Things won’t change, until things change.

You can sit in your situation and complain about how uncomfortable things are, or you could take a step forward to make a change. Every day we are faced with choices, all that will impact us profoundly. There is no reason for anyone to wait until things are “bad enough” before getting help.

In graduate school, I vividly remember the conversation about how we didn’t have to wait for clients to hit rock bottom before intervening. At the time, it seemed like such a novel idea to “bring the bottom up” to meet clients where they were right them and there. That way they didn’t have to get worse before they got better. Anyone who is impatient can appreciate this. But for those of us who subscribe to the theory that someone has to want to change in order to change, this seems rather premature to the process.

We can make the choice to not change. We can continue to be in our current situation as long as we desire. To be honest, I don’t know that many people that love being miserable for extending periods of time. At a certain point, you have the conscious thought of wanting life to be better. This seems to be the hardest concept for families of those that are suffering.

In sharing with parents’ ways to express their love, respond differently, and break their patterns with their loved one it’s easier to talk about, rather than implement. It’s awkward in the moment, and easier to just let your loved one be the decision maker when it comes to change. It’s important to note though that parents do have the ability to sway change. The easiest way to express the need for change is to hold boundaries. Again, it’s much easier said than done.

Whether it’s you or your loved one that’s stuck in life and struggling, please know that things won’t get better on their own. That’s wishful thinking, and a cognitive distortion. If anything, it will only get far worse before it ever gets better. The question you must answer is “how much longer can you tolerate what’s happening now?” If you are thinking to yourself “not much longer,” then take steps to make changes. Bring the bottom up.

Get help now.

For questions or comments contact Joanna.