Indifference

When it comes to what matters most, indifference can poison a well. Being decisive is so important, mainly because it puts accountability on the young adult (or parents for this matter) to give actual thought to what’s being asked. The more young adults I work with, the painful it is to me when I’m getting to know a young person who answers every question with “I don’t know,” or “it doesn’t matter.” Sometimes you don’t actually know the answer to a question, but most of the time you have a thought about opt and you’re choosing to not be specific, or share your opinion. We live a world right now where knowing where you stand, what is important to you, is more relevant than ever. Having awareness, understanding, and communicating your reflections are the way we make our way in the world. I’m finding more young people are having more trouble than ever getting connected to those things.

Here's a prime snapshot of a 1-minute conversation with a young adult:

Me: Do you want Black Cherry or Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream?

Someone else: Eh, doesn’t matter.

Me: Yes, it does matter. Which would you rather have? Those are the options.

Someone: I’ll take whatever.

Me: Whatever? (*devilish ideas come into my head about throwing in a third option that’d be very unwelcome*)

Someone: Yes, whatever. It doesn’t matter to do. I don’t care. Either is fine.

BINGO. That’s really what it comes down to. Indifference is often associated with not caring. I want my clients to care. I want the parents of the clients I work with to care. I want them to actually think about what can happen to them based on what they share, about their preferences, and  their dislikes. I want them to have a voice, and choice does matter.  What they care for and about does matter. And whenever someone tells me “it’s fine,” that’s when I really know I have to push harder.

If someone asks you a binary question – orange or blue? Glasses or contacts? Thai food or Ethiopian? Make a decision. You’re being asked because they want your input. They want your opinion and perspective. Don’t be afraid to share it. The most stress and push-back for me comes when it’s about a young adult’s future. Are you going to college? Which college are you going to? What major are you planning to study? If you’re not going to college, then what’s your plan? If a part of your indecisiveness or avoidance is related to your future, and the idea of making a decision terrifies you, then that’s definitely a reason to connect with a consultant and take baby steps to find your voice, share it, and figure it out.

For questions or comments contact Joanna.