Enabling vs. Scaffolding for Young Adults

I talk about “having a foundation” and “scaffolding” an obnoxious amount when I speak with young adults. My work is intended to focus on the developmental framework that bridges the gap between what my client can do independently already, and what they can accomplish with minimal or temporary support. What I’m providing is scaffolding. When working with a life coach or executive functioning coach, often this is the approach that it used as well. It’s strengths-based because you want to highlight what a young adult is doing well, has already mastered, and utilize micro-steps to help make skill-build feel less daunting.

If you came across this article and you’re not even sure what enabling is, let’s break that down. Enabling for a parent is when they do a task for their young adult, often times even doing tasks that the young adult is capable of doing for themselves. It’s important to also mention there is a distinct difference between enabling and micromanaging. Unlike enabling, micromanaging is when the young adult completes a task but you are controlling how the task is done, often sitting next to them to ensure it gets done correctly. Neither of these approaches give space for the young adult to learn new tasks, master skills, nor build strength and resilience. It essentially emasculates someone’s autonomy, agency, and individuality. That’s stop doing this.

Scaffolding focuses on building internal executive functioning skills such as task initiation, organization, and problem-solving so the support can eventually be faded out. Every person in your young adult’s life needs to be providing scaffolding. If the end goal is interdependence and mostly independent, scaffolding is the only approach that will help them get headed in this direction. In a time when so many young adults struggle with executive functioning deficits, let’s help by teaching them how to help themselves.

Upon reflection, if you’re finding yourself enabling or micromanaging and unable to stop, consider working with a professional to help you. Get your own scaffolded support, so you can in-turn help your young adult.

For questions or comments contact Joanna.