Ring the warning bells!
How parents can alert a college when they are worried about their child.
For the parents who opted not to have their college student sign some releases before they went off to school, that’s okay. It’s not too late. You can coordinate those releases signed remotely. Or coach your loved one through getting forms signed for themselves. Either way, you want to be looped into what’s happening.
If you are worried about your young adult in their college dorm, you may not want to sit back and hope that others are looking out for your loved one. We’re quickly passing the point of homesickness and rounding the corner into facing an actual mental health diagnosis head-on. There is nothing wrong, or unusual about this. If anything, it’s actually way more common nowadays than it used to be there. There’s plenty of supports out there available to young adults, the catch is that they have to be ready to advocate for the help. This is where your hands may be tied.
At this point you’ve been hearing from your young adult multiple times daily. They’re sad, lonely, friendless, miss you, aren’t loving their roommate or their classes, don’t fill like they fit in, or any other comment that would completely crush you as a parent. And if you are an out-of-state parent, the distance alone makes it feel impossible to be able to help at a moment’s notice. That’s what contacting the university is for. Who do you contact? Great question!
Typically, colleges and universities have a Parent & Family Programs office. And typically, that is linked with the Vice President of Student Affairs. That’s typically who parents call first. From there, that office with triage a welfare check on your young adult. It could be their Resident Director, or if could be Campus Police depending on the severity of your concern and disclosure about your young adult. What’s important to note is that it’s way better to reach out and ask someone to check in on your young adult, rather than just cross your fingers and hope they reach out for help themselves.
Depression can be way a much deeper well than we ever thought. Or if they nonchalantly make comments about “it being better if they weren’t around” you need to ask point-blank if they are suicidal. It’s a myth that if you talk about suicide you plant a seed for them to water. That’s false. If they are suicidal, you need to know. Ask them if they have a plan. If they have a detailed plan, you need to call police immediately otherwise risk getting contacted by the university that your young adult died by suicide.
To summarize, if you are worried at all about your young adult please take action. Your hands are not tied being the parent, especially if they didn’t sign any releases before going to college. The school may not have a pulse on the well-being over your young adult at the moment. If you are concerned about their health, you need to let someone know to check on them. Don’t wait. Call now.
For questions or comments contact Joanna.
