What can happen when your college student gets sick
It happens every single year. About four weeks into the college semester everyone gets sick. You can plan for it because there is usually a dip in weather one day. The first glimpse of the fall, even though we all know the temperatures will spike again to let summer rear it’s head for one last final hurrah. In addition to some bug that just whips through residence halls like it’s a game to see how many people it can tag at once. No matter it’s form, there’s just no escaping it.
Parents find themselves feverishly trying to comprehend the type of sickness their young adult just came down with so they can make recommendations for treatment. Do they go to urgent care? Do they just need some rest and vitamin C? Can they go to Student Health? And if they are an out-of-state student, forget being able to provide the comforts of home to get better. If your young adult was already homesick a couple weeks ago, this only compounds those feelings.
While they are recovering, whether it takes a day or seven days, what ends up most impacted is their academics. Parents often don’t think about this, as they are focused on the physical well-being of their adult child. They advise on chicken noodle soup, or herbal remedies that will get them back up and going in no time. But once a student misses a class or two, you’d be surprised what happens next.
This is also around the time that college students truly comprehend that their college classes are nothing like in high school. They miss a couple classes, maybe a pop quiz, or even due assignments. They might be under the impression they can just turn their paperwork in or take the quiz once they’re better and ask their professor. This isn’t how college works. And with these missed classes or missed assignments brings a student from being sick with a cold to coming down with a case of the “f*** its.”
Yes, I know that may sound off-putting, nor does it truly describe what all students experience, but if your kid is sick and they missed classes and coursework, you’re going to find this out very soon how their immune system and frame of mind allowed this to creep on in and take off too.
You see, while they were sick and wishing you were there to take care of them, they may not have thought to proactively connect with their professors. They didn’t think to reach out to anyone on campus who might be able to advocate for them to be able to turn work in late, or schedule taking an exam later. Of course, they weren’t thinking about this, they were sick for goodness sake! But what happens once they let one class slide, it comes five classes. That's when they're truly embodying a case of the f*** its.
This is the cognitive distorted thinking of an 18-year-old-brain. It’s saying “eh, I have a 62% in a class now, I can bring it up before the end of the semester.” That’s without consulting the syllabus for each class and learning that they’ve already missed the maximum number of classes allowed before losing points on their overall grade for not being present. Or that that 62% could only get as high as a 71% overall, and that’s with them getting a 100% on the only remaining assignment this semester. Not a great foundation being built for their GPA. Their clouded sick brain completely halted any motivation and excitement they had about being a college student. Being sick, learning to take care of yourself, and realizing that you can actually miss class and no one is going to yell at you – that’s what creates this perfect place where students would rather throw in the town then try to dig themselves out of the hole they’re in. And once it starts, it’s a small snowball that rolls down a mountainside, building in size and momentum.
Where you, as a parent can help this snowball is by advocating for your young adult to look back through each syllabus to make sure they can pass their classes still. Don’t do it for them but encourage them to do it. Advocate that they go see a doctor to get cleared for good health, and documentation that says they came in to get treated. Encourage them to find the doctor themselves. Encourage your student to bring that documentation to the Student Case Management office and explain that they may need to get an Incomplete in a course in order to pass. This all must be done by your student though. And quite honestly, after being sick they may just never rally in following through with any of this.
You may be shaking your head in disbelief in thinking that your student could already fail because of this first hiccup early in the semester. In case you forgot the academic rigors found in higher education, you may want to refresh yourself. Some classes will be based on one assignment. There is no extra credit or calling a teacher to help fill in any missing work to bring a grade up. You can encourage them to assess what it was they’ve been doing (i.e. playing too hard with new friends, not sticking to a routine, not getting enough sleep, not exercising, eating junk food, etc.). They will want to change their habits, or they leave themselves susceptible to whatever the next wave of sickness is that’ll sweep through campus. This sickness that created a snowball that is now the size of a boulder, which is careening straight toward them. It’s a case of the f*** its that they’ve already embraced and may continue to unless they make some drastic changes.
For questions or comments contact Joanna.
