Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child
We are all guilty of doing this. Providing a clearer path for our loved ones. Parents of Generation Z take the cake for this though. They are not helicopter parents; they are the curling parents. If you did not watch the last Winter Olympics, you need to check this sport out.
The premise is that one teammate throws the stone aiming for the bullseye, while the other teammates are cleaning the path in front of the stone to get it to the bullseye. They are removing all pieces of dirt that will redirect the stone away from the bullseye. To translate in today’s world, if a parenting unit believed that their child needed to go to Princeton for [insert name of any understand degree], then Princeton is the bullseye. The stone is their child getting to Princeton. They will work up a sweat feverishly clearing the path for the stone (their child) to get to the bullseye (Princeton) unscathed. The problem with this though is that their child will not be successful once they get to Princeton. That is nearly a guarantee.
You see, the entire path to get to the destination was spent barrier-free for this young person. Their parents managed to rid them from every losing sight of that bullseye, and the parents did everything to ensure their child got there. What happens when they get to Princeton and experience failures when they are there? Whether that is earning a C in a class for the first time, or just not making best friends for life within the first few weeks of school like they had anticipated. What then? Will the parents come back in to help clear the path? If yes, you are continuing to set your adult child up for failure, and worse, they will not be able to rebound because they do not have the resiliency skills to overcome even the tiniest of obstacles.
We need to let Generation Z experience failures while they are still in the home and can safely learn to bounce back. If you wait until they are in college without the safety net, the fall is much deeper and harder to climb out of. Plus, they do not appreciate the efforts put in when the parents are doing all the work. Why not switch places with your child for a bit. Let them hustle to clearing their own path. Maybe it will make them appreciate the bullseye even more.
For questions or comments contact Joanna.
*There is not knock against Princeton in this article. You can replace the name of that school with any other prestigious university that a parent cares about their child going to.
