On Campus, the Truth Shall Not Set You Free
The last thing parents may think to talk with their young adult about before they go to college is “what happens if” they get in trouble. Parents do not think to discuss the distinction of speaking with on-campus police versus off-campus police, or the Student Conduct Office, for that matter. Parents also may not think to discuss what common infractions college students can get. If this is something you overlooked before they enrolled in classes, it is not too late to talk now!
First and foremost, it is imperative to mention that this is not something that parents can make disappear. Families can hire an attorney or pay exorbitant fees, but it may still be on their adult child’s record. To guide your child to not incriminate themselves, encourage them to always be cautious on a college campus. Additionally, if they are speaking with police or representatives from the Student Conduct, tell them they need to have a lawyer present. This request could be the difference between months, if not years, of a painful Conduct process.
I have heard of situations where students have been cornered into admitting a crime on-campus to make it “go away.” Those types of situations include taking advantage of an impulsive, developing mind by not alerting parents to avoid scrutiny, embarrassment, or shame. Although college students are adults legally, it is abhorrent for a Student Conduct Officer to get a young adult to agree to a lifetime on the sex-offender registry in exchange for a case to immediately go away and not have their parents involved. Without understanding the depth of that consequence, that is a life sentence.
The truth shall not set a college student free!
The discussion you need to have with your adult child includes the following:
Parents clued into what is going, immediately.
Students do need legal representation.
To be frank, the college is looking out for its reputation. If making an example out of your child helps their reputation, they will do it. Even if they are a third-generation legacy student and your family has donated millions.
Higher Education tends to operate in its own siloed environment, which includes its own law & order. What happens on-campus though can forever haunt a young person off-campus. Whether it’s a Minor in Possession (MIP), Indecent Exposure (i.e. peeing in public), Driving Under the Influence (DUI), Hazing, Title IX allegation, or Academic Dishonesty, it’s imperative that you talk about this with your child before any of these situations arise. It’s better to be prepared and not have to deal with any of this, than to learn that your adult child incriminated themselves and there is nothing you can do as a parent to save them from the legal consequences they will now face.
If your adult child has already landed in this predicament, know that there are resources available to help you, and help them. You can find a shark of an attorney who will help your adult child fight their college’s legal system. You can hire a professional to get your adult child connected to confidential mental health resources as they are most-likely now struggling with anxiety, depression, suicide ideation, and acute stress related to relationships, sex, or college in general. And lastly, if they are wanting to transfer, there are professionals available to help one navigate a transfer application process understanding how the Admissions essay can be the difference between a fresh start, and a continued life sentence.
For questions or comments contact Joanna.
