Not Having a Driver's License

In working with young adults, most of my clients do not have their driver’s license.  This has been perplexing to me over the years, as I compare my adolescent years to theirs.  The moment I was able to have my learner’s permit and then get my license, I showed up at the door!  There was not a moment to lose to be able to drive myself around.  My clients on the other hand, seem to be terrified of growing up.  Are you seeing this too?

Some have shared with me that there was never a reason since they lived in a big city.  There is some understanding to that, but where is the logic in the “what happens when you need to get outside the city?”  For some adult children, it is evident to me that their parents were terrified of them driving, so they just agreed to drive them around.  At some point though, that chauffeur lost its sheen, and the young adult is now not interested in getting their license.  Why bother when I can keep asking my parents to take me around?  Lastly, and in line with the second example, this is a young adult who just didn’t want to leave home.  Why do I need to get my license?  I don’t have to go anywhere.  Or better, why get my license?  I’ve never been asked to contribute around the house or with my siblings.  There are several other reasons someone may opt to not rush to get their driver’s license, but these are the most common reasons I am finding amongst my clients.

Not having your license is a burden, whether you see it that way or not.  It is another example of your dependency on others.  From the other lens, it is also another reason why parents may be taking care of their kids longer – dependency.  It is time to bring back the excitement around getting a driver’s license. And if your adult child isn’t excited, that’s okay too.  It’s non-negotiable to be dependent on other people to get your groceries, go to the hospital, or just get anywhere.  It is time to grow up, and that requires following through with tasks (i.e. driver’s test) to become independent.

For questions or comments contact Joanna.