Difference Between a High School and College Parent
Crossing the line from high school to college feels monumental, and yet in some areas it feels like there is no official transition point. Below you will find some simple ways to view the difference between being a high school parent versus a college parents.
It’s been written about before. The differences are stark, and aside from the summer before college, there is no clear cut turning of the leaf when your child goes to college. In fact, it’s really hard to make the shift from the ingrained patterns for the last 18 years. Remember that! So, it’s no wonder a lot of parents feel attacked when they reach out to higher education professionals to ask questions about advising, inquire with residential life if their kid is making friends, and emailing professors to check if their child is going to class. What was very welcome and encouraged in high school becomes very taboo in college. Your young adult is now the adult and colleges don’t have to communicate with you at all. You go from being knowing most things about your child’s life to now knowing being involved in any of it, especially when it comes to collaboration with the school professionals.
It’s a lot to go from full-time manager to then being full-time off-the-clock. A lot of parents who are involved in high school struggle with their own transition because of the change in communication. Or lack there of.
To show the generalized difference between a high school and college parent, I’ve created a table. Check it out and tell me if you agree.
Notice a difference? They’re still the same loving parent, the only difference is once they’re off at school it’s detrimental to their individuation for parents to learn to really let go. They used to say that the college campus is the safe environment to stumble and fumble while figuring out young adulthood. I still mostly agree with that (my only concerns are awareness on sexual assault and how to communicate with student conduct). Letting go is hard. This is a new chapter for you too as a parent. It’s time for you to spend time on yourself. Reconnect with the things you’ve lost touch with. Get together with friends. Or take the time to learn something new for yourself. By focusing on yourself and tending to your own needs, you’re role modeling what that can look like for your child.
It’s okay to grieve. It’s a new chapter for everyone. And if you need help navigating who to talk to, or what to do, don’t hesitate to get some support.
For questions or comments contact Joanna.
