Rules without Consequences
The fastest way to have your adult child not take you seriously is to have rules in the house with no consequences. As a parent, if you are allowing your young adult to graciously live at home with you, you have every right to lay down rules. The issue with preserving and protecting your sanity is that in having the rules, if your adult child is not respecting them or abiding by them, you can absolutely ask them to leave. Goodbye!
Here are some examples of rules parents can make if they have an adult child still living at home:
If you live here, you must pay 1/3 of your monthly income towards “rent.” If your income is inconsistent, we will review your pay stubs at the end of every month to share that month’s rent.
No drug use in this house of any kind
No visitors when we are not home
We will feed you, however you must always do your own dishes.
No one will do your laundry for you. If you do your laundry and leave it in the wash or dryer for more than 1 hour after the cycle ends, we will remove your clothes and still them back in a dirty hamper.
You can have your dog in our house. You are solely responsible for all things of your pet (feeding, walking, playing, vet visits, etc.), which also includes any cost for damages done by your pet.
These are only rules. What happens if your adult child breaks them? How much are you willing to tolerate before you lose it?
Parents can be as long-winded with rules as they want. Again, it is your house! Whatever you do though, do not back down. If your adult child challenges your rules, tell them they can leave. The rules are non-negotiable. Think of caving on rules as water rising and breaking a dam. Once the dam is broken, that water is running wild and free! If you do not hold your ground and keep the water at bay, you will be dealing with some serious carnage post-flood. Basically, once your adult child stops taking you seriously, anything you say with a hint of authority is completely dismissed. They see right through you. You are not actually going to hold their feet to the hire. They rule the home and they will do whatever they like, whenever like, regardless of what you say and how it makes your feel.
I will say that it is a lot harder to do, than it is just to talk about it. If you need a professional to help you in holding those boundaries, reach out. If you need a Therapeutic Consultant to help you find appropriate resources for your adult child to launch out of the house and learn to respect you, then do not wait any longer! If you are feeling powerless in your own home, get connected to get your power back. After all, it’s your house and you need to feel comfortable and not a prisoner in your own place.
For questions or comments contact Joanna.
