Whatever you do, Don't hit Delete!
Whatever you do, do not hit delete. This message is brought you to courtesy of all those who wish they had been given this advice! This topic is specifically regarding texting or social media and is approved by your future attorney. As a parent, if you have not talked with your college kid yet about this, the time to talk to them about it is now.
We all know that when something ends up in the cloud, it can forever be accessed. Hitting delete does nothing. If you do not delete though, it provides you with all the information you may need in a future case. Evidence to prove you were innocent, or evidence to be used against a plaintiff. A college student may not think about the long-term consequence of hitting delete, and in the moment just want that person or those texts to disappear. Tell your kid, “don’t delete!”
This can be extremely valuable information in regard to a Title IX allegation on campus. No one thinks about or wants to go through a Title IX allegation and yet it is happening on college campuses across the nation, daily. Do not delete social media connections. Do not delete any screenshots. Do not delete any texts. Tell your kid to go ahead and block someone temporarily so that they aren’t harassed, however they need to save all the tech exchanges that exist. It could be the difference in being innocent and proven guilty, on or off-campus.
This also relates to revenge porn. Not sure what that is, read more about it here. Whether you kid is the one posting, or they are the target of someone sharing explicit content without the consent of your kid. All you want to do is protect your kid! Pull them from college immediately if it means life or death for your adult child. And during this process, make sure that they do not hit delete, as much as they want to erase that person, or those people, from their memory in order to move on.
In talking about this with your college student, they will most likely think you are nuts for discussing this. But for any parent who is navigating any allegation with their adult child, they wished they’d thought about this sooner. Do yourself and your kid a favor and considering talking about the importance of not hitting delete.
If you find yourself dealing with on-campus allegations, it’s important to lawyer up. You need to find an Attorney who knows how to successfully navigate the higher education judicial systems. Additionally, think about the mental health of your young adult. Most likely they are experiencing a civil death. It’s important to get them removed from the college campus and into a safe environment for them to begin to heal. Hire a professional to help you and your college student navigate this process.
For questions or comments contact Joanna.
On Campus, the Truth Shall Not Set You Free
The last thing parents may think to talk with their young adult about before they go to college is “what happens if” they get in trouble. Parents do not think to discuss the distinction of speaking with on-campus police versus off-campus police, or the Student Conduct Office, for that matter. Parents also may not think to discuss what common infractions college students can get. If this is something you overlooked before they enrolled in classes, it is not too late to talk now!
First and foremost, it is imperative to mention that this is not something that parents can make disappear. Families can hire an attorney or pay exorbitant fees, but it may still be on their adult child’s record. To guide your child to not incriminate themselves, encourage them to always be cautious on a college campus. Additionally, if they are speaking with police or representatives from the Student Conduct, tell them they need to have a lawyer present. This request could be the difference between months, if not years, of a painful Conduct process.
I have heard of situations where students have been cornered into admitting a crime on-campus to make it “go away.” Those types of situations include taking advantage of an impulsive, developing mind by not alerting parents to avoid scrutiny, embarrassment, or shame. Although college students are adults legally, it is abhorrent for a Student Conduct Officer to get a young adult to agree to a lifetime on the sex-offender registry in exchange for a case to immediately go away and not have their parents involved. Without understanding the depth of that consequence, that is a life sentence.
The truth shall not set a college student free!
The discussion you need to have with your adult child includes the following:
Parents clued into what is going, immediately.
Students do need legal representation.
To be frank, the college is looking out for its reputation. If making an example out of your child helps their reputation, they will do it. Even if they are a third-generation legacy student and your family has donated millions.
Higher Education tends to operate in its own siloed environment, which includes its own law & order. What happens on-campus though can forever haunt a young person off-campus. Whether it’s a Minor in Possession (MIP), Indecent Exposure (i.e. peeing in public), Driving Under the Influence (DUI), Hazing, Title IX allegation, or Academic Dishonesty, it’s imperative that you talk about this with your child before any of these situations arise. It’s better to be prepared and not have to deal with any of this, than to learn that your adult child incriminated themselves and there is nothing you can do as a parent to save them from the legal consequences they will now face.
If your adult child has already landed in this predicament, know that there are resources available to help you, and help them. You can find a shark of an attorney who will help your adult child fight their college’s legal system. You can hire a professional to get your adult child connected to confidential mental health resources as they are most-likely now struggling with anxiety, depression, suicide ideation, and acute stress related to relationships, sex, or college in general. And lastly, if they are wanting to transfer, there are professionals available to help one navigate a transfer application process understanding how the Admissions essay can be the difference between a fresh start, and a continued life sentence.
For questions or comments contact Joanna.