Top 10 Relapse Warning Signs
Predicting a relapse is sometimes hard to do. Parents say, “I never saw that coming!” or even the young adult says that. In reality though, there were probably a lot of things happening that were the writing on the wall to see the relapse coming. Of course, when in treatment, when staff spot these signs they work overtime to get the young adult re-engaged. Sometimes it helps redirect, other times the young adult is motivated to relapse, and they just don’t care. Everything falls to the wayside until the aftermath. The shame spiral kicks in, and we’re potentially going back through a treatment continuum again. Now furthering the young adult from being able to transition out of treatment and “back into the real world.”
I’m bringing this up because I’ve had recent conversations with a few families who were asking about this specific topic. And, it’s important to note that each of these families were gearing up for their loved one to be graduating and transitioning out of a program. Not all of these clients struggled with substance use, as we can also refer to “being in recovery” as it relates to mental health only. Recovery is open to interpretation for the person who it references. These families were ramping up their concerns about how to pay attention that their loved one is slipping when they’re viewing them and supporting them from afar. It’s a delicate dance too, especially when those families might have really struggled with rebuilding trust after substance use reeked havoc on their loved one, and family.
When it comes to ensured recovery after a residential treatment center (RTC) experience, then you need community reintegration. You need the pressure-testing to ensure they can employ the skills they learned while in programming. Things like where it’s hard to hold a job, go to school, keep appointments, be in relationships (or experience rejection), attend meetings – all happening simultaneously. It’s alot, and it’s also real-life. So if you’re loved one semi-mastered some of the tasks above, and they’re eyes are on the horizon where they are looking to phase out of programming altogether, below are some relapse warning signs for you (as a parent or support network) to keep and eye on.
To make note of some of these relapse predictors, and know that this list is not all-encompassing:
Missed appointments. Not caring about keeping to the schedule and/or seeing the value in the appointments scheduled (therapist, recovery coach, sponsor, etc.). Also not understanding the impact on their relationship being impacted with that provider because of their no-shows.
Missed classes. Sleeping in, skipping for one reason or another, or just giving up altogether on completing coursework. This could be insight into the shame spiral. Maybe a missed assignment triggered a sense of failure, and thus “why try when I’ve already failed” kind of mindset?
Isolating: Avoiding meals, social events, or meetings. Not feeling like you belong or need to belong. It doesn’t matter. Stop going to meetings because you are “too busy” or no longer see the value in working steps or a program. This is denial in it’s truest form. Connection is the opposite of addiction, so if they are isolating – we’re in big trouble. In fact, isolation in itself can be a relapse.
Getting sick. It’s unavoidable, especially if you live on-campus. But what happens when you get sick is often an indicator of what will play out the rest of the semester. Often when students get sick, they get behind. That can snowball quickly.
Concealing information. Secrets are fuel to the addiction bonfire. Fear of retaliation or response from friends, family, etc. is what keeps an addict living a left of secrecy.
Increased depression or perfectionism. Just unrealistic expectations of what it means to be human and work through ups and downs. Also, the way to cope with depression and perfectionism is often self-medicating. Be careful of slipping back into old coping habits.
Change in demeanor. Trust your gut and pay attention to the stuff that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Does your child sound intoxicated? Are they muted? Are they having grandiose thoughts? Are they not answering your calls and texts? Check in regularly. Know how they are when they’re doing well, and definitely listen for those signs that they are slipping back into old presentations.
Sleep disturbance. Often the sleep cycle can totally throw off a young adult and once that goes, we’re in trouble. Routine is so important for overall balance in their physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. Get them back on a healthy sleep cycle and if need be, look into other ways to support sleep hygiene (i.e. lavender, melatonin, etc.).
Cannabis is not “just cannabis.” The expression “it’s just marijuana,” is a 5-alarm fire. It’s not just marijuana. That, my friends, is pandora’s box. Don’t let it get opened.
Suicide ideation or self-harm. This is always an indication that they are struggling with their mental health. Make note! Check in. Get them a higher level of care if they need, and be overly assertive with this. Suicide is no joke.
The conversation in all of addiction treatment is not just about being sober, but rather living a life in recovery. There’s a difference. Ideally you’ve also put together a strong team to support your young adult, that way “ringing the alarm bells” doesn’t solely fall on you as a parent especially if you’re hours away from your child. Recovery is not finite. It’s a day-by-day situation, so make note of how your young adult continues to show up in life. Your observations may be what catches the first signs of that relapse warning.
For questions or comments contact Joanna.
