Is College Worth it Anymore?
Right now, I believe that is how most college students are currently feeling. Between the shift to online learning and the adjustments in social and residential environments, there is a rumble that is building. It is what most non-higher education affiliates were saying over the summer, but only now, are the enrolled students finally feeling it: understanding that it is not worth it.
If your college student is considering dropping out, do not force them to stay. Think about this from a mental health and financial standpoint. Will they struggle with depression because of isolation? Will their grades translate to decent grades if they stay? If not, it is not worth it. Mental health will far outweigh the need to “stay the course.” There is a lot of higher education statistics I could drop right now (i.e., percentage of students that matriculate to their sophomore year, and from there the abysmal rates that continue to drop within the 6-year graduation cohort). Realistically, if your kid is struggling right now in any arena related to their college experience, consider adopting this mantra for yourself: it is not worth it.
Now, stop the bus in letting them withdraw without a plan. They absolutely need a plan. Coming home to not be enrolled in classes, not work, and sulk about what they are missing out on sounds like a recipe for a boundary-less disaster. Always have a plan! Know that the need for a college degree and earning one, is not going anywhere. Colleges available for your adult child to attend will mostly remain. They can have a different experience in moving forward with their life - right now, that is worth it.
They need opportunities for life experiences. Options that include actual teaching and community building. If you think colleges campuses were the only place where this was available, you are wrong. Programs and opportunities have stepped up to the challenge providing a safe environment for young adults to grow and thrive, even during the pandemic.
Random quarantining, or back-to-back testing, is exhausting to the developing minds. They agreed to it when they registered for classes, but the reality is that one student may jeopardize an entire dorm. In a non-COVID world, the college experience was everything and more that a young adult craved. Now, with the vision of college not matching up to the reality of their situation, more and more students are over it. And it is not just first-year students either. I think we can anticipate that unless something drastic happens in the next three months, colleges will see an even more significant drop in enrollment for Spring 2021.
I don’t blame them. If I was in college right now, I’d say it wasn’t worth it either.
For questions or comments contact Joanna.
Helping your Kid avoid a Title IX Allegation
**Trigger warning: I will be discussing consensual sex and sexual assault. Please read with caution.
This is not something you think you must talk with your child about before they go off to school, and yet you need too. Prior to enrolling, they are required to complete an online sexual harassment and assault training. By completing this, regardless of how engaged they were in watching it, it will be held against them should someone on campus accuse them of sexual harassment or assault. As a parent, this will be your worst nightmare. Living in an era of Title IX Coordinators and colleges and universities doing their own investigations to protect their reputation, you do not want to have to deal with this. And if you did, you’ll wish you’d had this conversation with your child much sooner.
The majority of those accused will be young men. So, if you have a son heading off to college, this is even more important to discuss. Consensual sex is not consensual if there is alcohol involved; this can include anything oral. Period. For young people who are exited to explore new sexual relationships for the first time while in college, being accused of sexual misconduct is not something that is top-of-mind. If one of the partners wakes up and does not remember consenting, the moment they share that information, the university is investigating your child for sexual assault. It’s unrealistic to believe that a college student will be abstinent, and as a parent of a college student, this talk needs to be had.
As a parent, you not only have to talk about consensual sex, you also need to talk about the “what happens if” Campus Police or Student Conduct contacts them for any reason. There is nothing more intimidating that law enforcement or legal authorities on campus. In that moment, your young adult needs to not say a word and ask for their lawyer. Anything they say can be incriminating, regardless of whether they are guilty of anything! Also, make sure they know not to delete anything. That includes texts, contacts, or any social media content or connection. College disciplinary infractions are not fun to mess with, but it is better to be settled within that system than to deal with the consequences in the criminal justice system.
Anticipate that if your child is accused of anything while on a college campus, especially a Title IX allegation, it will come across as a civil death. You will need to rally the troops to ensure your child gets the care that they need. The troops will include an Attorney who understands higher education, a Licensed Mental Health professional who is non-judgmental to someone accused of sexual assault and will keep confidence through the court system, a Therapeutic Placement Consultant who will help you and your child navigate finding a mental health and substance abuse treatment program, and an Educational Consultant prepared to help your child transfer to another school once this case is resolved. It’s a lot, but it’s better to know these people exist rather than wait until you immediately need them.
To summarize, talk to your kid before they go off to college. A decision they make while drunk and horny could truly change the course of their life, and your life, forever.
For questions or comments contact Joanna.